In school we learn to do things right. We learn to spell correctly, how to pronounce foreign words, we learn how to read and write. Sometimes that is all we do, trying to make things right. If we succeed we get praised, but if we don’t… We disappear into the shadows of shame.
When I first started school I was so excited, but also scared. I felt safe at home with my mom, and the school environment was new and unknown. Thankfully my teacher was a friendly woman, who made me feel comfortable, and I started to learn.
At first I learned about spelling, counting, reading, and there was always a right and a wrong answer. In wood class later on I found it hard to think a little more creatively. The teacher told my mom I ”lacked initiative”.
Since I’d learnt about wrong and right I found school pretty easy. I knew the rules and stayed on top of it all. However, there were times when we had to write stories.
Sometimes we were free to choose topics, sometimes not. It didn’t matter to me. Suddenly I was out in the wilderness again.
How can you write a short story in the correct way? What did the teacher expect from me? How do I write to get a good grade?
As an adult I am now exploring my writing, something I never thought I would do.
Writing? Me? No no no no. I can’t write!
And a loud laughter. A bit too loud…
Creative writing is all about letting go of right and wrong. It’s about walking into the unknown without guidelines or even a direction. You just go in and then you explore.
I want to be a professional writer and leaving that young girl, who so desperately wants to do things right, is hard. I want to please my readers. I want a good grade.
But how do I know what you want to read? I don’t. Instead I have to have faith that there is somebody out there who needs to read what I have to say. Maybe connect for a moment and nod in silence.
Yeah, I know what she’s talking about.