Jag är en känslomänniska. Dessutom en extremt känslig sådan, och det var oerhört jobbigt när jag var barn. Min uppväxt var ganska ensam och jag tillbringade mycket tid med att ”fantisera”, lyssna på musik och sagor. Min favoritsyssla var att klä ut mig och låtsas att jag var någon annan. Jag gick aldrig på dagis,…
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Den här bloggen har legat i dvala under hela 2019 och jag har grunnat mycket på vad jag ska ha den till. Så har det blivit 2020 och skrivlusten kommer långsamt tillbaka. Tänk om… Ja, tänk om jag skulle börja skriva här på bloggen igen? Och tänk om jag skulle skriva på svenska. För några…
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On this day in 2013 I arrived in Berlin not knowing what I was getting myself into. I was nervous, but at the same time I had high expectations. ”If I can make it here, I can make it anywhere”, I thought. The butterflies in my stomach were dancing wildly – but here I was.…
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I am writing. Since my last post I can’t help but writing, but I have stuffed my face with sweets all weekend. Why? To keep the anxiety levels down, because it’s so scary! I can’t explain it. I have no idea why I’m afraid, but I’m mildly excited too. Please let nothing come in my…
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It has occurred to me that my writing difficulties are connected to other issues in my life, such as work and money. Because I had to deal with work-related problems, like applying for jobs I didn’t want, I gave up my dream of writing. And ever since, I have been absolutely miserable – but then…
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Right now I’m struggling with money. It’s difficult finding work and creating stability in my life. I had to contact German authorities and ask for help, which of course doesn’t happen over night. My whole existence feels shaky, and it doesn’t bring out the best in me. On the contrary. Desperation is ugly. Then I…
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A friend sent me a tip via email. It was a book by Barbara Sher. When I looked her up on the internet I found a TEDx Talk she did a few years ago. As I started to watch it what she said wowed me: ”Isolation is the dream-killer, not your attitude.” According to Barbara…
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I often feel like an alien these days. Maybe not like I’m from another planet, but at least from another dimension. I don’t know, but I seem to think and worry about things that not many others find worth brooding over. Is there something wrong with me? As a child I can’t say I felt…
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So why do I still doubt it? Because it’s quite subtle. I hear whispering in my head. Is it real or wishful thinking? Does it matter what it is? When I am grounded and fully myself it feels just right, but when I’m down then I’m not so sure anymore. I’ve finished Lilous book, and…
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We all know the importance of positive thinking and an optimistic mindset. But I’m sure most of us have a problem with that once and again. When you feel stuck and ”nothing” positive seems to happen in your life, it’s easy to start doubting. Am I a failure, or on the right track? About 7…
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The last 4 or 5 years I have noticed a change in me. One of many, I might add. Like everybody else I have to earn a living, but I can no longer take or apply for a job if it ”feels wrong”. This is difficult to explain, because it usually sounds like an excuse.…
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For some time now I have been thinking about coaching others. Would I be able to do that? I don’t have it together myself, and I’m no teacher, how could I help somebody else? Maybe that’s just the thing, to be there. As a fellow human being. On the same level. I’ve talked about ”teaching…
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Lilou Macé has been making interviews for a long time, and posting them to her YouTube channel. I didn’t know she had written a book, actually two, until a friend stuck I Had No Money And I Liked It into my hands. Oh my was I in for a treat! Lilou has spoken to every spiritual…
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I’m looking through my texts on this blog to see what I actually write about. I’m searching for the common denominator. What is my pet subject? Do I have one? I guess I’m writing a lot about – me! – and about writing itself. That reminds me… Unfortunately I didn’t follow up on my promise…
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Finally 2017 is over. Good riddance! It was a crappy year in so many ways. Feels great to get a new year, a clean slate. Phew! Of course not much has changed, but there is a sense of freedom, peace and possible new beginnings. A second chance to get things right, or at least better. ”Oh…
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If nothing ever goes wrong, how can we grow? The challenges force us to become aware. What are my thought patterns? How much do I identify myself with those thoughts? Do I believe my brain when it tells me something is wrong with me? We all have an ego, a side to us that has…
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Am I looking for a savior? Not Jesus or Buddha, but perhaps a (hu)man savior? Someone who could tell me what and who I am? Do I struggle with my identity? Do I wanna ”be” someone in the world? I think the answer to all these questions is – yes. I think others have said…
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Never thought I’d say it, but I turned Hollywood down today. I found out about a course in scriptwriting, in LA. The programme included a meeting with actors and other scriptwriters – yes, in Hollywood! – and going to the Student Academy Awards. That’s the baby sister of the Oscar’s. We were to meet one of…
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I’m trying too hard! For years now I have been looking for ”my thing”. The kind of work I would love to be doing: my purpose, my calling, my unique assignment in this world. I have found many things, but I still feel lost. Why is that? Most likely because the struggle creates a wall…
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