Corona har gett mig tid till reflektion och jag känner mig nyfiken på att undersöka de saker som kommer upp. Jag har fortsatt att fundera på den nedärvda programmeringen att göra ”rätt” och hur det påverkat mig och mitt uttrycksbehov. I samma veva dyker minnen upp, tillfällen då rädslan triggats eller förvärrats. Min första stora…
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Jag är uppvuxen i en familj av perfektionister. Det kan låta hårt, men det finns en anledning till perfektionisttänket. Under första tiden av sitt äktenskap bodde min mormor under samma tak som sin svärmor. Morfars mor var en högt aktad kokerska i bygden. Hon arbetade hos de finaste familjerna och på de finaste kalasen. Inte…
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Under 2019 har jag två gånger fått förtroendet att ge respons på texter. Två vänner och duktiga skribenter ville ha hjälp att komma vidare i skrivprocessen. Först kändes det läskigt. Jag vet själv hur konstigt det kan bli om responsen blir ”fel”. Samtidigt kände jag mig glad och ödmjuk inför det förtroende de visade mig.…
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Den här bloggen har legat i dvala under hela 2019 och jag har grunnat mycket på vad jag ska ha den till. Så har det blivit 2020 och skrivlusten kommer långsamt tillbaka. Tänk om… Ja, tänk om jag skulle börja skriva här på bloggen igen? Och tänk om jag skulle skriva på svenska. För några…
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Time flies, and even more so when you are having fun. I actually got to celebrate my 49th birthday in Berlin. Usually this time of the year I’m in Sweden with my family, and it was a bit emotional to not be spending the day with them. On the other hand my friends here made…
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I am writing. Since my last post I can’t help but writing, but I have stuffed my face with sweets all weekend. Why? To keep the anxiety levels down, because it’s so scary! I can’t explain it. I have no idea why I’m afraid, but I’m mildly excited too. Please let nothing come in my…
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It has occurred to me that my writing difficulties are connected to other issues in my life, such as work and money. Because I had to deal with work-related problems, like applying for jobs I didn’t want, I gave up my dream of writing. And ever since, I have been absolutely miserable – but then…
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For a few days I’ve been walking around in a dark cloud of depression. Feelings of failure and meaninglessness added extra weight to my body, both figuratively and literally. I have a lot to do right now, which is good, but I haven’t had the time to write. Oh, but that’s it! Thursday it was…
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So why do I still doubt it? Because it’s quite subtle. I hear whispering in my head. Is it real or wishful thinking? Does it matter what it is? When I am grounded and fully myself it feels just right, but when I’m down then I’m not so sure anymore. I’ve finished Lilous book, and…
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For some time now I have been thinking about coaching others. Would I be able to do that? I don’t have it together myself, and I’m no teacher, how could I help somebody else? Maybe that’s just the thing, to be there. As a fellow human being. On the same level. I’ve talked about ”teaching…
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Lilou Macé has been making interviews for a long time, and posting them to her YouTube channel. I didn’t know she had written a book, actually two, until a friend stuck I Had No Money And I Liked It into my hands. Oh my was I in for a treat! Lilou has spoken to every spiritual…
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I’m looking through my texts on this blog to see what I actually write about. I’m searching for the common denominator. What is my pet subject? Do I have one? I guess I’m writing a lot about – me! – and about writing itself. That reminds me… Unfortunately I didn’t follow up on my promise…
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Never thought I’d say it, but I turned Hollywood down today. I found out about a course in scriptwriting, in LA. The programme included a meeting with actors and other scriptwriters – yes, in Hollywood! – and going to the Student Academy Awards. That’s the baby sister of the Oscar’s. We were to meet one of…
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I’m trying too hard! For years now I have been looking for ”my thing”. The kind of work I would love to be doing: my purpose, my calling, my unique assignment in this world. I have found many things, but I still feel lost. Why is that? Most likely because the struggle creates a wall…
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I’m stubborn, but easily bored. I could never run a marathon. It’s too d**n looong, it takes forever! I’m like that child in the backseat asking it’s parents over and over again: ”Are we there yet? Are we there yet?” Then why do I want to write a book? A project that evidently takes months,…
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Doubt is hard, but a part of life. You doubt yourself and you become insecure. What once seemed clear all of a sudden looks dark and uncertain. I doubt myself almost all the time, it comes in waves, but as I grow older I see the pattern. Unfortunately I still can’t avoid the pitfalls. But…
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Last year I made my first attempt to realise a dream I’ve had for a long time. I started to write a screenplay, my very first draft. I had no idea what I was doing, but I figured I’d watched quite a lot of films. I mean, how difficult could it be to write one…
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We all know the quote. Even those who weren’t born yet. I was 2 weeks old at the time, when Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon: ”One small step for man. One giant leap for man-kind.” is what he said. Amazing. That’s exactly how I felt Friday, launching my brand new Facebook page. Amazing –…
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Apparently there is a thing called ”Learning out loud”. It means to share a process – like how to write a book – on platforms like blogs, in social media and maybe even in said book. I like that idea. Basically because right now I have no other purpose than my own journey through life.…
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