It has occurred to me that my writing difficulties are connected to other issues in my life, such as work and money. Because I had to deal with work-related problems, like applying for jobs I didn’t want, I gave up my dream of writing. And ever since, I have been absolutely miserable – but then a miracle happened.
In my last post before this experience I had actually written about miracles, that I no longer believed in them. Boy was I proven wrong! Luckily I didn’t really mean it. Of course I believe in miracles.
As it so happens, I went through a deep spiritual experience as I listened through Laüra Hollicks 3 steps to activating the hidden creative power. In the first ritual Laüra talked about healing. The meditation felt good, because I was able to connect with my higher self. Haven’t felt that presence in a while.
The second ritual was about purpose, and I believe we all have a purpose. When I lost my faith in everything I started doubting that too. I didn’t feel any answers coming to me during the meditation and I was a bit disappointed. It wasn’t until the 3rd ritual, about manifestation, that things started moving.
I Am Loved
In the beginning Laüra talked about healing again, and this deep, deep sadness came over me. My heart was broken a few years ago. Although I have tried to bounce back from it, I haven’t been able to. It was just too much to hope for, and then this totally miserable feeling of not being loved. I understood part of why I had to go through that, but why couldn’t I get over him?
As we moved on in the meditation I was told to ask for what I wanted. I meant to say that I wanted to find a job I could enjoy, but instead my heart screamed:
– I want to be loved! I want to be loved!
That’s when it happened. I sensed a small group of “beings” on my right side, all wrapped up in pink and golden colours. Suddenly I just knew. My heart almost went still, and I knew. I already am loved. It wasn’t a religious experience. I didn’t see Christ or anything. It was calm and soothing. The “beings” let me know what I most needed to know. I am loved.
Being Present In My Life
For two days now I have been walking around like a zombie. Not being unaware, but being totally aware. I have looked at everything around me. It looks the same as before, but at the same time everything has changed. The trees are greener, the sky is bluer, the sun is warmer. I am loved. That is all I ever needed to hear. But I needed it from these beings in pink and gold, not from a man or any other living soul on Earth.
I have started to think about writing again. I am writing again. I feel that my purpose is to write, to communicate, to share my thoughts with the world.
I am ready. I am whole. I am loved.