For a few days I’ve been walking around in a dark cloud of depression. Feelings of failure and meaninglessness added extra weight to my body, both figuratively and literally. I have a lot to do right now, which is good, but I haven’t had the time to write. Oh, but that’s it!
Thursday it was particularly bad. I had a date with some friends, but I was grumpy, sad, felt weird. I decided to stay at home. I sat down for an hour and worked on my book.
Afterwards I felt such a relief. I was almost cheerful again! The remedy is – writing on a regular basis. But that’s the trick…
Stamina and structure
A while back I wanted to do a 30 days blog challenge, and it started so well. Then some friends came to visit, and as I spent time with them I forgot to blog. It’s no big deal, you might think, but to me it was.
I never seem to be able to focus long enough to get my book done. Any larger project makes me all sweaty, and I’m totally incapable of – for a full week – doing e.g. yoga every morning. I have no stamina!
Work Piling Up
The fact that I now have work from several employers, a last minute tax document to fill out, Jobcenter stuff, a body that needs exercise, a flat that needs cleaning, a cat that needs attention, and a beautiful Berlin summer to enjoy – writing ends up at the bottom of the list.
The thing I love the most to do is last on my list 🙁
That’s what needs to change. If I don’t write every day I get depressed, and then I can’t get anything else out of my hair. The smallest feather becomes a giant hen.
When will I learn to put my happiness first? I’ve got to start prioritising what I love. How can it be so hard to make sure I have time for my passion every day?